F**KING MALWARE!

OK, OK, it’s been a couple weeks since I last blogged. My bad. I plead exceptionally lazy. Blame my subconscious procrastination skills cuz I legit don’t do it on purpose, most of the time. But that isn’t what I’m gonna be talking about today. Maybe another day, I dunno. Enjoy the ~potential foreshadowing~.

No, today I’m gonna talk about malware. I’ve chosen this topic specifically because I have been DREADFULLY INCONVENIENCED and had my facebook account temporarily suspended, supposedly due to malware issues. I’ve been locked out for about a week at this point and have tried dozens of methods to try and unlock it. I have scanned my computer with every computer scanning tool at my disposal, I have downloaded and used the computer scanning program that facebook has specifically recommended in its unhelpful help page, I have performed pagan rituals and utilised the darkest of magics to unlock my account (OK, maybe I haven’t done the last one, but you get the point). Between every scanner, only about half a dozen viruses have been found in total, and all have been removed. When I try and login to facebook, I’m sent to a page to download a malicious program remover that doesn’t freaking work. I’ve sent in forms to try and ask them to unlock it, only to be told that they’ll look into it if they can be bothered. I’ve reset my password like a dozen times at this point. Everything else that I’m told to try, I can’t even get at because you need to be logged in to get at the pages in the first. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

So yes, I’m a little cranky. In the meantime, I figured I might as well bore anyone that bothers to come to this page to read my wiggy little rants with a wiggy little rant on malware. At the very least, it gives me something to do and I get to learn about something. Yay. I’ll get the pseudo-intellectual shieβe out of the way first, shall I? Yes, I shall. Cuz this is my blog and I make the rules. MWAHAHAHAHA!!! *thunder claps*

Malware is short for malicious software. Fairly basic, but shut up. I’m writing as I’m learning, gimme a break. Malware is really a kind of umbrella term, used to describe any type malicious program that attacks a computer, such as a computer virus, computer worm, trojan horses, spyware, adware, blah, blah, blah. These tools are used by douchebags to disrupt computer operations, gather sensitive information and/or gain access to private computer systems and can be hidden in the coding, scripts and even active content of any form of software.

I’m gonna leave it there, mainly cuz the logistics of the whole thing doesn’t really interest me. These things happen. I’m here to rant, and rant I shall damnit! Basically the people that create and use any form of malware are douchebags and should be kicked in the balls repeatedly. With steel capped boots. I mean, I could see how it would be useful in a war or something, sure. I’m not saying that I like that either, but I can understand why malware would be used. And logically I can understand why spyware would be useful for criminals, spying on a person’s computer usage, getting usernames and passwords for all kinds of things. But I don’t understand why someone would write a code of virus intended to do nothing less than irritate people that they’ve never even met. Hell, if a computer gets too many viruses and the like, it will be practically inoperable. What’s the point? To be a fucking asshole? Congratulations writers of the various forms of malware, you have succeeded in being a royal asshole. For an idea of the reaction that I have towards these people, I encourage you to watch George Takei address some homophobic douchebag. I feel that Mr. Takei is the perfect example of my hatred for people that do this. It is very irritating. Just like those fucking trolls. *grumble, grumble*

Anyway, I’ve ranted all I can think about ranting about this. The only way I could continue it is by ranting about fucking trolls. And I didn’t post about that for a reason. I can’t remember what that reason was, but there was a reason damnit! Back to the point, I hope I didn’t bore you too much, dear readers, thank you for cyber-listening and slightly belated happy new year.

OK, one little last thing cuz I simply have to geek out my excitement that I just learnt how to make a sentence a link, so I don't have to use endnotes. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! SO EXCITED! I feel accomplished.