Literature thingies; or, I'm bad at titles

Picture books:

1. All My Friends Are Dead by Avery Monsen and Jory John.

2. Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss.

3. Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.

Readers:

1. Matilda by Roald Dahl.

2. Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White.

3. The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate.

Children’s fiction:

1. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J. K. Rowling.

2. The Reluctant Assassin by Eoin Colfer.

3. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis.

Children’s classics:

1. Old Yeller by Fred Gipson

2. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum.

3. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl.

Non-fiction:

1. The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank.

2. Bossypants by Tina Fey.

3. Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell.

General fiction:

1. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

2. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

3. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.

Young adult fiction:

1. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

2. Bloodlines by Richelle Mead.

3. Divergent by Veronica Roth.

Poetry:

1. The Odyssey by Homer.

2. Paradise Lost by John Milton.

3. Inferno by Dante.

Fantasy:

1. Eragon by Christopher Paolini.

2. A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin.

3. The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien.

Crime/detective:

1. Postmortem by Patricia Cornwell.

2. The Kill Room by Jeffrey Deaver.

3. Joyland by Stephen King.

Historical:

1. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller.

2. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden.

3. Girl with a Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier.

Horror:

1. The Shining by Stephen King.

2. World War Z by Max Brooks.

3. Dracula by Bram Stoker.

Mystery/adventure/thriller:

1. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown.

2. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

3. Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie.

Western:

1. The Gunslinger by Stephen King.

2. True Grit by Charles Portis.

3. Dead Man’s Walk by Larry McMurtry.

Literary fiction:

1. The Age of Ice by J. M. Sidorova.

2. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman.

3. Animal Farm by George Orwell.

Humour/comedy:

1. Night Terrors: Sex, Dating, Puberty and Other Alarming Things by Ashley Cardiff.

2. The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett.

3. Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.

Science fiction:

1. 1984 by George Orwell.

2. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card.

3. Dune by Frank Herbert.

Drama:

1. Dead Sexy Dragon by Lolita Lopez.

2. Hamlet by William Shakespeare.

3. Shooting Stars by Karina Halle.

Romance:

1. Too Fast by Alexia Haynes.

2. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austin.

3. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare.

Short stories:

1. The Tales of Beedle the Bard by J. K. Rowling.

2. Fragile Things by Neil Gaiman.

3. Tenth of December by George Saunders.

Graphic novel:

1. Naruto vol. 65: Hashirama and Madara by Masashi Kishimoto.

2. One Piece vol. 17: Hiruluk’s Cherry Blossoms by Eiichiro Oda.

3. Fairy Tail vol. 12 by Hiro Mashima.

Translated fiction:

1. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

2. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson.

3. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez.

Biography:

1. Night by Elie Wiesel.

2. Cleopatra: A Life by Stacy Schiff.

3. A Street Cat Named Bob by James Bowen.

Autobiography:

1. High Price by Dr. Carl Hart.

2. Is It Just Me? By Miranda Hart.

3. The Fry Chronicles by Stephen Fry.

Memoirs:

1. The Boy who Lived with Ghosts by John Mitchell.

2. Dear Life by Alice Munro.

3. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Travel accounts:

1. The Longest Road by Philip Caputo.

2. Apologies to my Censor by Mitch Moxley.

3. To the Moon and Timbuktu by Nina Sovich.

Literary Essays:

1. Shut Up, You’re Welcome by Annie Choi.

2. Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void by Mary Roach.

3. A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf.

Scholarly books on literature:

1. Oxford Dictionary of Reference and Allusion by Andrew Delahunty and Sheila Dignen.

2. Little Oxford Dictionary of Quotations – Edited by Susan Ratcliffe.

3. The Oxford Companion to Classical Literature – Edited by M. C. Howatson.

Other useful reference books:

1. A Dictionary of Critical Thinking by Ian Buchanan.

2. Aesthetics of a Multicultural Age – Edited by Emory Elliot, Louis Freitas Caton, and Jeffrey Rhyne.

3. Criticism and Modernity: Aesthetics, Literature, and Nations in Europe and its Academies by Thomas Docherty.

4. Elements of Literature – Edited by Robert Scholes, Carl H. Klaus, Nancy R. Comley, and Michael Silverman.

5. Ethics, Evil, and Fiction by Colin McGinn.

Readers Advisor job description

Summary

This position provides reader’s advisory, reference, research, and technical support services for the Talking Book Program. This position provides service via telephone, email, postal correspondence, and in person to patrons with visual, physical, and reading disabilities that prevent them from reading standard print. Work is performed in a call center environment. Works under general supervision, with moderate latitude for the use of initiative and independent judgment.

Essential Tasks

Provides reader’s advisory service to patrons with visual, physical, and reading disabilities, assisting in the location and selection of reading material in accessible formats.
Participates in organizing and supports patron participation in reading activities, such as book talks, reading clubs, discussion groups, and written reading advisory handouts; assists in evaluating the success of these activities.
Participates in developing and implementing outreach activities, both in cooperation with the Public awareness Coordinator, and separately; assists in evaluating the success of these activities.
Provides technical support to patrons on matters related to use of TBP and NLS equipment and services, such as BARD and the DTBM. Assists with BARD registrations and other BARD administrative tasks.
Provides basic reference services, including online research, in accordance with departmental service policy.
Maintains personal service statistics and creates monthly reports of activities. Assists in developing policies and procedures for reader’s advisory services in TBP.
Recommends acquisition of materials for the Reader Services professional collection and provides input regarding the circulating collection.
Assists in orientation and training of new Reader’s Advisory Librarians.
Monitors discussion listservs and other online resources that contribute to knowledge of reader’s advisory.
Performs other duties as assigned.
Attends work regularly in accordance with agency leave and attendance policies.
Complies with all applicable agency policies and procedures, including safety, dress code, and standards of conduct.

Minimum Qualifications
Master's degree in library/information science from an ALA accredited program.
Experience working in a library or bookstore.
Experience providing service to the public.
Experience using a computer for word processing, email, spreadsheets.
Experience using a computer for database/Internet searching.
Extensive knowledge of books and general public reading interests.
Personal interest in reading and ability to discuss books effectively.
Excellent communication skills with demonstrated ability to communicate effectively, both orally and in writing.
Demonstrated ability to handle complaints and resolve problems with tact and diplomacy.
Enthusiasm and interest in promoting library service for readers with disabilities.
Hearing acuity and ability to understand speech in order to interact with co-workers and patrons by telephone.
Ability to complete job tasks accurately and neatly, with attention to detail.
Ability to manage concurrent assignments.
Ability to work in a call center environment, including ability to sit for long periods of time, to block out noise from nearby work stations, and to wear telephone headsets with earpieces and mouthpieces.
Ability to work as part of a team, including taking the lead on some team projects.
Preferred Qualifications

Work/volunteer experience or coursework in reader’s advisory, collection development, and/or reference services.
Experience working in a talking book program library, or other experience working with persons with disabilities.
Experience in a call center environment.
Experience providing technical support by telephone or email.
Experience using Microsoft Office suite in a PC environment.
Experience creating bibliographies, pathfinders, or other finding aids for library patrons.
Experience using an integrated library system (ILS) or other automated records system to update and retrieve information.
Experience creating and maintaining web pages, blogs, etc.
Experience with or knowledge of assistive technology, especially screen readers or magnifiers.
Experience writing business correspondence.
Knowledge of Spanish language (written and oral).
Ability to read Braille and/or experience producing materials in Braille.

Interview Requirements

Interviewing applicants will be required at time of interview to successfully complete an oral exercise demonstrating ability to discuss books effectively.

Other Requirements
Writing samples required.
College transcripts required.
Occasional travel may be required.
Occasional evening and Saturday work may be required.
Supervision
Reports to Manager, Reader Services; works under team leadership of the Reader Services Librarian.

https://www.tsl.state.tx.us/jobs/ral.html

Literacy promotion

Back to posting school work, oy god. Well, at least I'm back to using this blog for something. I've generally been blogging on my tumblr. It is good, and regularly updatable due to the wonder that is reblogging. Anyway, onto the websites for literacy promotion!

http://www.fictionuncovered.co.uk/

Fiction uncovered promotes contemporary British fiction. Each year a panel of judges selects eight fiction books written by British authors and makes them a part of a major promotion supported by retailers, as well as making them the centre of a major publicity and marketing campaign.

http://cbca.org.au/

The Children’s Book Council of Australia is a non-profit organisation that promotes children’s and young adult literature. To accomplish this, the Council runs various competitions, reading programs and runs a book week. The Council also has a panel of judges that select various books of the year for older readers, younger readers, early childhood, and picture books.

 http://www.thebigbookclub.com.au/index.php

The Big Book Club, Inc. was established in 2003 to promote reading, literature, and Australian authors and illustrators. It has two major projects, The Big Book Club (for adults) and The Little Big Book Club (for parents of children aged 0-5), and runs events around Australia to promote literacy.

http://www.indigenousliteracyfoundation.org.au/

The Indigenous Literacy Foundation is an organisation that aims to improve the literacy of Indigenous  Australians. To achieve this, the foundation provides books and support to Indigenous parents, assists in the writing and publishing of books in the child’s first language as well as English, and encourages links between the book trade, schools and libraries to ensure that there is a supply of books in remote Indigenous communities.

http://www.asialiteracy.org.au/

The Asia Literacy Teachers Association of Australia is a non-profit organisation that aims to advance education, and raise awareness of Asia literacy through grassroots networks in schools. The reason it aims to do this is because of the rising importance of Asian countries in Australian business, trade, employment, sources of immigration and social integration, making an understanding of Asian cultures invaluable.

http://www.alea.edu.au/

The Australian Literacy Educators’ Association is an independent association dedicated to literacy development from early childhood through all stages of schooling and tertiary education. ALEA works with the AATE (Australian Association for the Teaching of English) and PETAA (Primary English Teachers Association Australia) to create the units for the Australian Curriculum: English. It also works with bodies such as the Australian Government, UNESCO, the International Reading Association and other similar organisations on various projects and literacy promotion activities.

http://www.sacal.sa.edu.au/

The South Australian Council for Adult Literacy works towards the promotion and advocacy for a literate society. It brings together all those interested in adult literacy, such as universities, industries and training organisations.

http://www.love2read.org.au/index.cfm

Love2Read is a collaborative project that joins public libraries, government, community groups, media and commercial partners, and the public to promote literacy with various programs and events such as the National Year of Reading.

http://www.acal.edu.au/

The Australian Council for Adult Literacy promotes adult literacy and numeracy. To accomplish this, they provide various services, such as a forum for debates on issues surrounding adult literacy and numeracy practises in Australia, information on current policies and services, promoting awareness of the adult literacy and numeracy issues, among numerous others.

http://www.ldaustralia.org/language-and-literacy.html

Learning Difficulties Australia is an organisation that aims to help people with learning difficulties. This page on the website is aimed at helping improve language and literacy skills despite any learning difficulties that the person may have by providing links to other websites that have information and research on the subject.

http://www.pathstoliteracy.org/

Paths to Literacy is a website that caters to blind and visually impaired students. It aims to help blind and visually impaired people advance their literacy skills, and provides a plethora of information about how to do so.

http://www.aboriginalliteracyfoundation.org/

The Aboriginal Literacy Foundation is an organisation that aims to close the literacy and numeracy gap between Indigenous and non-Indigenous young people. To do this, the foundation provides weekly one-on-one sessions with Indigenous Australians that are struggling to make literacy gains, as well as providing camps to fast track literacy and numeracy learning for students that are significantly disadvantaged.

http://www.scholastic.com.au/

Scholastic is a market leading Australian book publishing company. As a market leader, Scholastic is one of the most well-known publishing brands in the country, and it takes advantage of its reputation by promoting books and literacy in schools. It accomplishes this through programs such as book clubs and book fairs.

http://read2remember.org.au/

Read2Remember is an initiative designed to promote the wellbeing of young people in schools by teaching them the importance of Remembrance Day through literature. It does this in the hopes that children will be able to learn and understand the characteristics found in the servicemen and women of Australia can be found in them too, in order to help them be the best that they can be.

http://www.goodreadingmagazine.com.au/

Good Reading magazine is a monthly magazine and website that is dedicated to books and reading. It aims to help people find new books that they may be interested in reading, and to encourage readers to try reading books from new or different authors, or genres that they may not typically read.

NO EXPORT FOR YOU!!

I really need to get better at this updating thing… I’m sorry, I pretty much only go to write something when I can actually think of something to write and forget that this blog actually exists in the interim.

Anywho, my rant today is about a very irritating thing that impacts a few things that I am interested in. Since I can’t actually think of something to properly call it due to my brain being under the malevolent control of TV Tropes, so I’ll call it thing same thing it’s called on TV tropes. Today, I will be complaining about no export for you. No export for you is, for those of you too lazy to click the link, the process of a product not being exported to a country for no good reason. To illustrate my point, I’ll bring up four specific examples because they’re things that I am interested in and the lack of exportyness bugs me and fills me with a violent rage. So prepare for some geekitude and utter childishness, because I intend to throw a cyber-tantrum AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME!

For those of you that are bothered by spoilers, I’ll be talking about Digimon, Kingdom Hearts, Power Rangers, Pokemon and I bring up Dollhouse towards the end. And since I personally don’t care about spoilers most of the time, I’ll not hold back any info about any part of any series if I think that it deserves to be mentioned as part of my rant, regardless of how major said spoiler may be. If you don’t like spoilers and you haven’t been through the whole damn series, then either skip paragraphs or please leave until you are aware of every little thing that happens in the series so you can’t possibly be spoiled, because I will not be bound by limitations such as a specific game even if that game is indeed what I am supposed to be ranting about. With that in mind however, I don’t expect the Pokemon part to include any information about the games or anime as I’ll be ranting purely about a Pokedex app.

I’m gonna sort these as chronologically as I can remember off the top of my pretty little noggin, so let us begin with the lack of exports for Digimon games. While now this may be more a case of “I just can’t find the damn things” it wasn’t always, not merely being an irritation for people that couldn’t find the games, but actually causing confusion in the dubbed adaptations of Digimon Zero Two and Digimon Tamers. This confusion was caused by the character Ryo, the player avatar in a series of Wonderswan video games that were only released in Japan. While Ryo was not exactly a key character in either season (only appearing in a very brief flashback in Zero Two, and only being an issue in Tamers if you caught onto his previous appearance in Zero Two, keeping in mind that almost every season of Digimon is set in an alternate universe from all the others), his appearances do only make sense if you played the Wonderswan games. In Zero Two, the lack of Wonderswan game releases also caused confusion regarding part of the backstory for Ken Ichijouji, one of the Digi-Destined of the season, as he had a role in at least one of them as Ryo’s friend and both acquired his Digimon partner Wormmon and was infected by the Dark Spore that would set up the opening conflict of the season and ultimately power the final Big Bad. The same flashback that set all this up also raised questions like “what the ever-loving clusterfuck is that massive dying Digimon in the background that is haemorrhaging Dark Spores?”. THIS BURNING QUESTION BUGGED ME SO DAMN MUCH until I discovered Digimon wikis… It was Milleniummon, for anyone that cares. If you want more info, look it up yourself, my name ain’t google. But my point is, in this case lack of exports weren’t just fucking annoying, it didn’t help ease the confusion of a show that wasn’t lacking in plot holes. Even all this time later, the games with Ryo still haven’t been released outside of Asia and if you want to understand a thing about how he can appear in two entirely separate universes you need a cliff notes version of them cuz it is wiggy as hell. Alternatively, you could watch JesuOtaku’s Digimon reviews. She discusses what she calls “the problem of Ryo” in her Zero Two and Tamers reviews and sums up pretty much the whole Ryo situation. It works for me, so shut up. Watch the reviews, they're good.

And I am pretty sure I got side-tracked… Anywho, next on my list of complaints is Kingdom Hearts. Now, admittedly this does bug me as much anymore since most if not all of the games are being remastered and released on the PS3 in two little sets that neatly tidy up the Xehanort saga (and I suspect there may be a third including the games up to and including KH 3 when it is finally released, it'd make sense, three games per set, covers the whole saga). But I shall still complain about it because of reasons! First thing is the Final Mixes. Kingdom Hearts 1, 2 and Birth by Sleep all got Final Mix releases that were only released in Japan. Each contains material that is both canon and desperately important to future installments of the series. For instance, in Kingdom Hearts Final Mix we do battle with Xemnas, the Big Bad of KH 2 and a recurring foe in Dream, Drop, Distance, a battle which is considered canon by Tetsuya Nomura and the developers of the KH series. I can’t remember too many other things that that one added, with the exception of Neoshadow Heartless, which would become recurring enemies in any games that the Heartless would actually be fought in and several new Keyblades. Final Mix + (the Final Mix for KH 2), would be even worse in this regard, allowing you to fight the Lingering Sentiment, who players would later control in one of the many parts of the final battle against Master Xehanort and Vanitas, as well as allowing battles against the members of Organisation XIII that weren’t fought and killed throughout the game with the obvious exceptions of Xemnas and Roxas. The game also includes more scenes with the remaining members of the Organisation and, most damning of all, it includes a brief scene that shows that Xemnas has Aqua’s armour and is searching Castle Oblivion for a room similar to the one he keeps Aqua’s armour in, since we later find out he’s searching for Ventus for a reason that currently escapes my fanboy brain. BUT I AM ENRAGED NONETHELESS! Birth by Sleep Final Mix doesn’t bug me as much, simply because most of the things added to it were added to the Western release first and simply carried over. The only thing of note that was really added from there, to my knowledge, were a few battles against the Lingering Sentiments of Masters Eraqus and Xehanort, and maybe a couple of new Keyblades for defeating said foes. And lest I forget (again), Final Mix + also included a copy of re:Chain of Memories, a remake of the Game Boy Advance game set between KH 1 and 2. While it was released in North America as a stand-alone game a few months after Final Mix + was released, it was never released outside of North America. Despite that all that was really needed was some different region coding! I AM IN A RAGE, MY DEAR SIRS AND MADAMS!

Next on my list of non-exporty peeves is, yes, Power Rangers. At some point last year, I was made aware of DVD releases for every season of Power Rangers up to this point. As a fanboy that regularly collects TV-on-DVD collections, I was naturally excited. So when I discovered that these releases were only to be made in North America, I was fucking pissed. Yes, at this point they’ve only released up to Lost Galaxy, but that is still 7 seasons of Power Rangers that I could happily wittle away until the other seasons were released. No, there is no reason that they couldn’t be released here. Unless of course, Saban or TimeLife, whichever is responsible for the distribution of the DVD’s,  are massive douchecanoes that want to piss me off and deny me the chance to endlessly watch the good, the bad and the cheesiness that was the Power Rangers Zordon Era. Because dear lord, was it cheesy! And yes, it was often excruciatingly bad. But when it was good, it was really fucking good. The Green With Evil arc of MMPR season 1, Countdown to Destruction and the Psycho Rangers arc of In Space, hell, even the destruction of the Power Chamber at the end of Turbo are just a few of the things that I would love to watch over and over again. Plus, attempting to finally get the various morphing sequences down? That would be brilliant. The only problem I have with that is that I lack the toys of the morphers to practise with. OH GOD I WANT TO REMEDY THIS!

And finally, I turn my sights to Pokemon. Like Kingdom Hearts, this annoys me less (although with how much I wrote about KH, I’m sure it seems like it bothers me so very much). Whereas with KH it doesn’t bug me as much because the issue will soon be remedied, here my issue is with supplementary material that is extremely easy to get. So you might wonder “if it’s so easy to get, why the hell does he care?” The answer is simple. While I not only can, but I do get the info from various sources, the one that I want is denied me. My issue is with an official, Nintendo released Pokedex for iOS. While it has been released in Japan and North America, it still hasn’t been released in Australia. As an Australian that fucking wants this app like there’s no freaking tomorrow, this pisses me off. And while I’m not adverse using the internet to get free versions of things (reading manga as it is released weekly instead of buying the bound volumes and having to wait several months for the next part of the story, watching comedy specials on youtube instead of trying to hunt for the DVD’s, which I’m also sure haven’t been released here, there may be a conspiracy involved, blah blah blah, etc.), when and if I can support the people that create and release any of these various forms of media, I would prefer to. While with anime I get around this by preferring not to buy a series until it is complete, I’ll buy music and delete older copies that I downloaded. If I’ve downloaded a show and I’ve bought part of it, I’ll delete the files that correspond to the DVD’s I bought. And so it is with the Pokedex for iOS. I could get information on the various Pokemon from various free sources, but I would rather buy the (admittedly, expensive) app and support the creators of Pokemon. But I can’t. And that doesn’t not make Ashy a happy chappy. It makes me cranky. And, while I may be good at it, I dislike being cranky.

So in conclusion to this oddly long rant, I am a foolish, foolish boy who will pay bucket loads of cash for things he can get for free, I will be bitter at my lack of ability to track things down, I will be paranoid that things are really, truly being withheld from Australian markets in a giant conspiracy to drive me completely bonkers because I am clearly important enough for such a thing to occur. I do not understand why things are not exported when there is no good reason not to export them. It seems to me that doing so is really just needlessly limiting the potential revenue that these companies could be making. But if Fox could can Joss Whedon’s Firefly and Dollhouse, then I suppose the people in charge of these things are completely stupid. Yes, people in charge of various powerful companies the world over, I just called you stupid. Especially whoever canned Firefly and Dollhouse. I hope those people were fired for incompetence. I may not have seen much of Firefly, but what I have seen of it was brilliant. And Dollhouse? Occasionally extremely uncomfortable, but a completely brilliant show with practically limitless potential complemented by a versatile, amazing cast of actors and actresses. The dude that played Victor? Sweet Jesus, how does he act? So many different personas, such wonderful acting. Loved the one where his and Echo’s imprints were switched. Hilarious. And how Ballard acted when he found him? So beautiful. If that imprint didn’t spawn hundreds of fan fics, I don’t know what will. Would have liked to see more of the time between the end of season 2 and the Epitaphs, specifically in relation to Alpha. SO MUCH FUCKING POTENTIAL YOU STUPID PEOPLE AT FOX!

F**KING MALWARE!

OK, OK, it’s been a couple weeks since I last blogged. My bad. I plead exceptionally lazy. Blame my subconscious procrastination skills cuz I legit don’t do it on purpose, most of the time. But that isn’t what I’m gonna be talking about today. Maybe another day, I dunno. Enjoy the ~potential foreshadowing~.

No, today I’m gonna talk about malware. I’ve chosen this topic specifically because I have been DREADFULLY INCONVENIENCED and had my facebook account temporarily suspended, supposedly due to malware issues. I’ve been locked out for about a week at this point and have tried dozens of methods to try and unlock it. I have scanned my computer with every computer scanning tool at my disposal, I have downloaded and used the computer scanning program that facebook has specifically recommended in its unhelpful help page, I have performed pagan rituals and utilised the darkest of magics to unlock my account (OK, maybe I haven’t done the last one, but you get the point). Between every scanner, only about half a dozen viruses have been found in total, and all have been removed. When I try and login to facebook, I’m sent to a page to download a malicious program remover that doesn’t freaking work. I’ve sent in forms to try and ask them to unlock it, only to be told that they’ll look into it if they can be bothered. I’ve reset my password like a dozen times at this point. Everything else that I’m told to try, I can’t even get at because you need to be logged in to get at the pages in the first. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

So yes, I’m a little cranky. In the meantime, I figured I might as well bore anyone that bothers to come to this page to read my wiggy little rants with a wiggy little rant on malware. At the very least, it gives me something to do and I get to learn about something. Yay. I’ll get the pseudo-intellectual shieβe out of the way first, shall I? Yes, I shall. Cuz this is my blog and I make the rules. MWAHAHAHAHA!!! *thunder claps*

Malware is short for malicious software. Fairly basic, but shut up. I’m writing as I’m learning, gimme a break. Malware is really a kind of umbrella term, used to describe any type malicious program that attacks a computer, such as a computer virus, computer worm, trojan horses, spyware, adware, blah, blah, blah. These tools are used by douchebags to disrupt computer operations, gather sensitive information and/or gain access to private computer systems and can be hidden in the coding, scripts and even active content of any form of software.

I’m gonna leave it there, mainly cuz the logistics of the whole thing doesn’t really interest me. These things happen. I’m here to rant, and rant I shall damnit! Basically the people that create and use any form of malware are douchebags and should be kicked in the balls repeatedly. With steel capped boots. I mean, I could see how it would be useful in a war or something, sure. I’m not saying that I like that either, but I can understand why malware would be used. And logically I can understand why spyware would be useful for criminals, spying on a person’s computer usage, getting usernames and passwords for all kinds of things. But I don’t understand why someone would write a code of virus intended to do nothing less than irritate people that they’ve never even met. Hell, if a computer gets too many viruses and the like, it will be practically inoperable. What’s the point? To be a fucking asshole? Congratulations writers of the various forms of malware, you have succeeded in being a royal asshole. For an idea of the reaction that I have towards these people, I encourage you to watch George Takei address some homophobic douchebag. I feel that Mr. Takei is the perfect example of my hatred for people that do this. It is very irritating. Just like those fucking trolls. *grumble, grumble*

Anyway, I’ve ranted all I can think about ranting about this. The only way I could continue it is by ranting about fucking trolls. And I didn’t post about that for a reason. I can’t remember what that reason was, but there was a reason damnit! Back to the point, I hope I didn’t bore you too much, dear readers, thank you for cyber-listening and slightly belated happy new year.

OK, one little last thing cuz I simply have to geek out my excitement that I just learnt how to make a sentence a link, so I don't have to use endnotes. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! SO EXCITED! I feel accomplished.